If we’ve learned anything from Leap Day William, the most amazing and well-known holiday representative in all the world, it’s that things done every February the 29th do not count. It’s a freebie day, a time when inhibitions and societal norms are cast aside because you know what? Tomorrow it’ll be March. Sometimes, however, people don’t know what to do to commemorate Leap Day, as though it weren’t important at all. Come on, people; it’s Leap Day for Pete’s sake! Don’t just take a Xanax and forget about it. To help those poor souls who may be uncertain what possibilities await them, I’ve compiled a list of 29 things one could, hell, even SHOULD do today.
1) Kill two birds with one stone. Literally.
2) Run into a Mattress store and cut off all the tags. What are the authorities going to do? It’s Leap Day.
3) Go to a restaurant and when the server arrives with your food, bite them on the hand. If they’re well-read, they’ll understand the humorous irony.
4) Punch a cop while yelling “communist!” If they’re well-read, they’ll understand the humorous irony.
5) Vote for Ron Paul.
6) Buy a glass house and immediately start throwing stones at it.
7) Do Michael Jackson moves while crossing the street where you shouldn’t so that when a police officer stops you, you can say you were Moonwalking while Jaywalking.
8) Commit tax fraud. Several times.
9) Defy the explicit instructions of Elton John and Kiki Dee and go a-breaking their heart.
10) Drop a penny off of the Empire State Building. Take that, science!
11) Paint that one wall in your house you’ve been meaning to get to for ages but have been putting off because you said you haven’t had the time, but really it was because you were too lazy to get up and move the bookshelf across the room, again proving that you are incapable of enacting change in your own life, no matter how small, and each day you see the bookshelf and the unpainted wall it reminds you of just how much of your life you’ve wasted watching TV and drinking. Also, it’ll really brighten up the room.
These are just my suggestions. I’m sure each and every one of you could come up with 29 equally spectacular and useful Leap Day things to do to feel like a thing-doer. But do something today. Nothing counts and you certainly won’t get in trouble for any of it.
Happy Leap Day everyone!!
http://www.modernprimate.com/11-things-to-do-this-leap-day/